It Tastes Like Salad Dressing!

It’s likely you’ve made some New Year’s resolutions–you know; be smarter, more attractive, exercise, etc. Well, I’ve been bothered by my yellowy teeth for some time. It’s probably a pretty common point of embarrassment for many people–especially women who like to wear bright red lipstick!

In my travels across the web, I came across a DIY home-whitening treatment made with just Olive Oil and Apple Cider Vinegar. These are the instructions from

 “Olive oil and apple cider vinegar will always be in your kitchen, so it’s worth trying a homemade teeth whitening treatment. Mix a teaspoon of olive oil and a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in a bowl. Enter your toothbrush in the mixture, then brush your teeth with it. You can repeat the procedure until you finish the entire mixture. Your teeth will be noticeably whiter, cleaner and brighter. Olive oil takes care of your gums and teeth and it clean  very good(sic) the spaces between teeth and vinegar removes stains, odors and even bacteria.”


I followed the instructions to the letter. This is an account of my thoughts during the procedure:

This thing smells good. Like vinegar. And olive oil.

So, I guess I just dip my toothbrush into this bowl, right? Okay…

Then I just brush my teeth like normal now, right? 

Oh, wow.  It tastes like salad dresssing.

Oh gosh, it’s like I just drank straight Vinaigrette… Do I have to keep this in my mouth?

It’s starting to overflow. Oh god… The drool, the saliva! Somebody get a towel!

 Are my teeth whiter? Ummm… not really. But my gums feel fresh. And my mouth tastes like olive oil. And my gums are bleeding. I don’t know what that says about me, but… I brush my teeth often, I swear!

In summary: my gums feel clean, my teeth feel like I’ve washed them with acid, and my breath smells like olive oil. I was expecting whiter teeth, but that didn’t really happen. They’re minimally whiter–you might have to do this a few times to see a great effect. I’ve resigned from my quest for whiter teeth, and say to toothy people everywhere: don’t bother!(Unless you go to the dentist and they do a professional whitening for you. That would probably work well.)

What are your New Year’s resolutions? You can read mine here: Untimely Resolutions. Do you have a good home-remedy for yellow teeth? Maybe you’ve done some silly things in pursuit of beauty before–tell me about it in the comments! You rock, you reader-of-blogs, you! 😛