Happy belated mother’s day, y’all!
When men complain about the pressure to be tall and muscular, they’re right. They’re absolutely right that they’re expected to be physically imposing. At it’s worst, they’re expected to assert their power through violence. And, underneath the posturing, they are forced to hide their feelings.
The Mask You Live In, available on Canadian Netflix, lays all of the ways we set boys up for failure out in the open. Most of us are desensitized to the messages beaten into us, that we become blind. Not just physically, but psychologically, by the way we talk, what we watch, and who we idolize.
A few criticisms I’d make is that it’s alluded that boys watching “bondage porn” are somehow more toxically masculine. While porn is a problem in the ways it portrays sex, I don’t really agree with the insinuated evil of kink/BDSM. I’d like to add that different ways of having sex are fine as long as they are consensual. I wish they had had a sex educator in the documentary explain this point…
Overall, I agreed with the film’s main ideas. It covered the causes and effects of Toxic Masculinity and the Demonization of Femininity. The Mask You Live In made me very emotional in spots: I teared up, and I’m not one to cry during movies. Most of the time, I was just nodding my head.
What do you know about Sam? Are they a boy, a girl? Are they cheating on their girlfriend? Where did they go on the 18th of January? Where are they now?
One user on Game Jolt commented:
“really hits me like a rock, cried like a baby”
Contrary to my introduction, A Normal Lost Phone is not a murder-mystery. It’s not terribly suspenseful, but it’s ending is very, very real. Even though I am not in Sam’s exact situation, their struggle reminded me of myself. The game is written very well. The end text, supposedly written by the main character, is minimal, to the point, and believable. The only real complaint I have is that, in the cellphone’s contacts, there are so many names that are absolutely pointless. It clutters up a screen that shouldn’t be.
Play A Normal Lost Phone by Accidental Queens here (available in English, French, and Spanish!)
I referred to Samantha during my description as “they” as I wanted her gender to remain ambiguous, as to not spoil the story. I am aware that she is a woman.
30 days, 30 posts, and 30 opportunities to dig into who I am! Every day I aim to answer these questions, in chronological order, as best I can. The 30 Day Genderqueer Challenge is taken from the tumblr Genderqueer Identities.
1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?
2) How did you grow up with your gender?
3) What’s your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending / genderfucking?
4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes
5) Dysphoria and how you manage it
6) When did you realize you were Genderqueer?
7) What are your favorite physical features of yourself?
8) An unpopular or unsure opinion about the GSM community
9) What have you done or plan to do to socially transition? Pronouns, name, coming out, etc.
10) Are you taking any steps to physically transition?
11) Your first experience with a GSM organization or event
12) Discuss your relationship with the term transgender
13) How has your family taken it or how might they take it?
14) Are you part of the Gender and Sexuality Minority community?
15) How do you deal with gendered things? Clothes shopping, bathrooms, forms, etc.
16) Name some media you connect with queerly
17) How do you, or would you, deal with being misgendered?
18) How does your gender factor in to your future plans?
19) What terms in the cisgender, GSM, or trans* community are problematic?
20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?
21) How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were Genderqueer?
22) What is your sexual and romantic orientations? Are they affected by your gender?
23) Do you feel comfortable answering questions about your gender to friends? Acquaintances? Strangers?
24) How has your relationship with the cisgender people in your life changed?
25) Your first queer crush or relationship
26) Discuss how your clothes do or don’t reflect your gender
27) Write a poem about being Genderqueer. (if you struggle, try a haiku, acrostic poem with your name, or just a stream of conciousness paragraph)
28) Who are some people in your life, on or offline, who make your life better? Your relationship doesn’t have to be related to queerness.
29) Some positive Genderqueer experiences
30) What does Genderqueer mean to you?
Update: !ndigo responded within 24 hours. Before registering my complaint, I scoured their website for any content guidelines: I found nothing. !ndigo’s customer service response via email was very helpful, however:
“Stocking a certain book does not mean that we condone or promote its point of view, but having said that, there are three types of books that we will never sell:
- books/magazines that instruct how to build weapons of mass destruction
- child pornography
- written material which has as its sole intent inciting people toward the annihilation of a particular group in society
Thank you again for your time and commitment to this, while I can appreciate your concerns regarding Mr. Savage the book does not violate our current guidelines regarding books we will not sell.”
And you know what? I totally agree with these guidelines. I just wish they were available on their website, or, if they already are, the guidelines should be easier to find.
Remember when I wrote this? I registered my complaint via Indigo’s online feedback form. I eagerly await their reply!
This makes me smile. 🙂
Notice all of the biphobia in the comments. Arguments include:
- Bisexuals are broad group, which includes “the curious” and “buffet tasters,” therefore making it difficult to tell if somebody is “truly bisexual.”
- It is ok to question somebody’s sexuality when you find out they are bi.
- Suggesting that bisexuals are unhappy in monogamous relationships.
Now I will refute each commenter’s point:
- If somebody identifies as bisexual, they are bisexual unless they say otherwise. I don’t walk around telling lesbians they aren’t queer enough, so why should you insinuate bi folks aren’t queer enough either?
- Try asking a straight(or gay) person details about their sex life and sexuality upon first meeting them, to determine their “true” sexuality. Should I get some ice for the punch you will surely receive? If they say they are bi, they are bi! Can you even imagine how hurtful it would be, to have people deny your identity, without even knowing anything about you?
- I am bisexual and have no interest in polyamorous relationships. I’m sure there are so-called “unicorns” out there, of course, but not all bisexuals are polyamorous. This is a common stereotype, often paired with the belief that bisexuals are greedy.
In conclusion: If they say they are bi, they are bi!
IF THEY SAY THEY ARE BI, THEY ARE BI!
Get it through your thick skulls.
Ted Cruz claims that Americans “overwhelming(sic) disagree” with same-sex marriage, and that polls claiming most are in favor of marriage equality are “skewed.” Ted Cruz knows this because, naturally, he’s a wizard and can read the thoughts of millions of Americans without breaking a sweat. His magic powers are so great, that he knows better than to believe the results of multiple polls. Polls such as this one and this one.
You’re a wizard, Teddy.