The Illusion

All the open wounds on my face,

waiting for my skin itself to replace,

so I can resume the illusion of perfect grace

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Crazy Contouring Dupes

Just because it’s a pencil doesn’t mean you can’t contour with it!  Here are some products you probably already own that can be re-used to contour:

  1. Eyeshadow: use a cool-toned brown three shades darker than your skin tone for a more natural look.  Or, use grey on whiteface makeup or any cool colour you want for a wackier look.  Apply as you would normally and blend.
  2. Brow Pencil:  lightly draw lines around your forehead and nose, under your cheekbones, jaw, and bottom lip.  Go over the lines a few times in places where you want to create a more dramatic shadow(such as under the cheeks).  The brow pencil should be darker than your skin. Blend with a slightly damp sponge or fingers.
  3. Lipstick: contouring with lipstick works really well on darker skin, watch lipstick contouring in action here.

13 Things I Hate

(Inspired by It’s Black Friday’s video Stuff I Hate)

Enter the Hate, and give life eternal.

In no particular order, here are some things that I hate:

  1. Boring eyeshadow palettes.  They’re everywhere! They advertise themselves as bold and sexy, but they’re really just 6 different shades of brown.
  2. The trolls who smoke in front of no-smoking signs, around children, etc.
  3. People who eat like food is going out of style.  Stop slurping like an alien and leave some for tomorrow!
  4. Pop music. I think this point needs no explanation.  Moving on;
  5. People jaywalking and otherwise walking dangerously.  You give pedestrians a bad name. (Cue Bon Jovi).
  6. Neighbours having noisy karaoke parties.  I’ve had personal experience with this…
  7.   Uninformed idiots who choose to use faulty reasoning for their arguments and ignore proper methods of debate, especially when they have a huge following on social media.
  8. Superhero movies and cartoons advertised towards adults. I hate this, so that you can hate me.  You’re welcome.
  9. Humidity. Yuck!
  10. People who support Hillary Clinton because of her sex (this is kind of a repeat of number 5, but it has to be said).
  11. Sloppy wet lipstick that gets everywhere.  I swear I wasn’t smooching a moose.
  12. Not having sunscreen/proper sun protection.  Skin Cancer affects us all, y’all!
  13. Navy Blue–the natural enemy of black.  I’ve never heard someone say that their heart is Navy, because Navy is a crappy colour.

Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Interesting Experiences in The City

A stranger at the bus stop yesterday politely came up to me and said I had, “really cool makeup, man.”  This really brightened my afternoon when I just wanted to go home and sleep.  This is in contrast to being catcalled a week or so ago.  Some faith in my fellow metropolitans has been restored.

(That was the first and only time I’ve been catcIMG_1723alled, I now reconsider wearing skirts when I’m going out as they seem to make some straight men see me in a whole different light.  Now I just dress like a like a spooky androgyne–not your sex object now, huh?)

How to Use Cream Eyeshadow or Eyeshadow Primer as Lipstick

It was pure serendipity!  I did some experimenting with my makeup and figured out a crazy-awesome trick.  I really love matte lipstick because it (should)stays on a long time. On a whim, instead of lipstick, I used Avon’s eyeshadow primer on my lips. I got this cool supermodel/androgynous affect, I think I looked amazing.  On top of that, it stayed put all day–even after I drank coffee, water, and had a snack. This stuff is better than any lipstick I have ever used! Dear Avon: start making bright red eyeshadow primer so that I can then use it as lipstick.

How to Use Cream Eyeshadow or Eyeshadow Primer as Lipstick

  1. Get a creamy eyeshadow or eyeshadow primer that matches your skintone and some lip balm.
  2. Put a very light layer of lip balm on your lips, especially if they are dry.
  3. Get some eyeshadow/eyeshadow primer on the tip of your finger and spread it across your lips. Make sure it doesn’t glob up in the creases of your skin.
  4. Pat your lips firmly with your finger, apply more eyeshadow or primer to finger, if needed, to pat on top of the first layer.  Make sure it doesn’t glob up in the creases of your skin!

Ever since I bought the eyeshadow primer, my makeup routine has completely changed for the better. Before, I wouldn’t wear much eyeshadow, usually using a beige-y pink creme eyeshadow for a nice “nude” look(thanks, Mary Kay, for getting me into cream eyeshadow).  Now, I can use the primer, and then go wild with dramatic colours and designs. I feel like a makeup artist!

As a side note: I am not being payed or sponsored by anyone or any company to write this.  This is a 100% real and 100% honest makeup recommendation from me, your buddy from The Internet! So there!

Walmart, let’s get in touch!

Walmart should sell a “Confidence Kit” in the women’s undergarments section. The Confidence Kit includes: control-top tights, a push-up bra, mascara, and red-tinted cherry lip balm.

I could really use this after binging on that Tarte au Sucre last night.