JayisGames Won’t be Posting New Reviews

Oh my NO! Happy Saturday everyone.

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A Normal Lost Phone: 3.5/5 STARS

ANormalLostPhone

What do you know about Sam?  Are they a boy, a girl?  Are they cheating on their girlfriend?  Where did they go on the 18th of January? Where are they now?

One user on Game Jolt commented:

“really hits me like a rock, cried like a baby”

Contrary to my introduction, A Normal Lost Phone is not a murder-mystery.  It’s not terribly suspenseful, but it’s ending is very, very real.  Even though I am not in Sam’s exact situation, their struggle reminded me of myself.  The game is written very well.  The end text, supposedly written by the main character, is minimal, to the point, and believable.  The only real complaint I have is that, in the cellphone’s contacts, there are so many names that are absolutely pointless.  It clutters up a screen that shouldn’t be.

Play A Normal Lost Phone by Accidental Queens here (available in English, French, and Spanish!)

 


SPOILERS

I referred to Samantha during my description as “they” as I wanted her gender to remain ambiguous, as to not spoil the story.  I am aware that she is a woman.

I Plead Innocent to Charges of Being a Hipster

Maybe it’s just me–actually, it certainly is just me– but I love a good old-fashioned art film.  I know, I sound like some silly lumber-sexual hipster trying to be “edgy.” Bear with me, I beg of you.

I try really hard to enjoy blockbuster action movies, but they’re just so BORING. I pick them apart and point out all of the poor writing, cinematography, casting, everything and it soon becomes painful to watch.  Also, the score–oh gawd, the score! My poor ears!  Not all “mainstream” movies are awful, of course, but many of them should be dumped into the inky depths of the ocean, never to be seen again.

For example; I saw the movie Pan in theaters, and I was raving(positively) about it for some time afterwards. Every little detail built up something that parents could ponder while their children enjoyed the basic story and visual spectacle. This one is not ocean material..

In the pursuit of a good film, I have done much IMDB scouring and have come to a conclusion. I love surreal films from the ’60s.

How to Use Cream Eyeshadow or Eyeshadow Primer as Lipstick

It was pure serendipity!  I did some experimenting with my makeup and figured out a crazy-awesome trick.  I really love matte lipstick because it (should)stays on a long time. On a whim, instead of lipstick, I used Avon’s eyeshadow primer on my lips. I got this cool supermodel/androgynous affect, I think I looked amazing.  On top of that, it stayed put all day–even after I drank coffee, water, and had a snack. This stuff is better than any lipstick I have ever used! Dear Avon: start making bright red eyeshadow primer so that I can then use it as lipstick.

How to Use Cream Eyeshadow or Eyeshadow Primer as Lipstick

  1. Get a creamy eyeshadow or eyeshadow primer that matches your skintone and some lip balm.
  2. Put a very light layer of lip balm on your lips, especially if they are dry.
  3. Get some eyeshadow/eyeshadow primer on the tip of your finger and spread it across your lips. Make sure it doesn’t glob up in the creases of your skin.
  4. Pat your lips firmly with your finger, apply more eyeshadow or primer to finger, if needed, to pat on top of the first layer.  Make sure it doesn’t glob up in the creases of your skin!

Ever since I bought the eyeshadow primer, my makeup routine has completely changed for the better. Before, I wouldn’t wear much eyeshadow, usually using a beige-y pink creme eyeshadow for a nice “nude” look(thanks, Mary Kay, for getting me into cream eyeshadow).  Now, I can use the primer, and then go wild with dramatic colours and designs. I feel like a makeup artist!

As a side note: I am not being payed or sponsored by anyone or any company to write this.  This is a 100% real and 100% honest makeup recommendation from me, your buddy from The Internet! So there!

Ludum Dare 34: Growing Ties 2/5 STARS

It’s a simple task: give the men some ties.  Playing Growing Ties for a few seconds will show you it’s not as easy as you once thought.  Press the left arrow key to finish making a tie and press and hold the right arrow key to make the tie longer.  There are people of all sizes waiting for your custom-length, lime-green ties, so get going!

While Growing Ties sounds like a simple web toy, it actually took me some time to get the hang of it.  I realized after some experimenting that, contrary to the upbeat background music, you can take as long as you want to make ties. There is no time limit and the men will not leave if you take “too long.”  Knowing this immediately makes the game less enjoyable, because now you don’t have the mad dash of dropping ties to please customers.  Growing Ties was made in a 72 hours for Ludum Dare 34, and so; the game only has one “level.”  After satisfying twenty customers’ tie needs the game ends, shows you how well you performed, and then are prompted to play again.  I’d say Growing Ties is fun, and good if you want to just chill, but there isn’t much other substance or meaning.

Growing Ties: 2/5 STARS

Growing Ties was created by DR.LUDOS (who brought us the similarly simple but difficult The One Fork Restaurant), with music by Newgrounds user F4llout. The Jam theme was Two Button Controls and/or Growing. Participants were allowed to use one or both of the themes. You can get Growing Ties on your Android phone via Google Play.

This is a Teaching Moment

AAAAAAchoooooo! Man, this internet place is dusty. I’ve been scouring the web for (free)video games, and now I’m covered in cobwebs. It was totally worth it. These are not just any ol’ games, but ones that are educational. That’s Edutainment!

  1. Socrates Jones: Pro Philosopher Anyone can learn about the Socratic method via this Ace Attorney look-alike. Imagine debating the nature of morality with your fav dead philosophers–this is the basic concept of the game. Even the in-game “tutorial,” teaching you how to play the game, is a ridiculously funny conversation between a frazzled father and a deer-repellent salesman. Yes, deer repellent.
  2. Newgenics: Welcome to the Future A basic, clean intro to eugenics and the shapes it takes. I recommend this for kids as young as eight(and you’re never too old for schooling!) to spark interesting discussions about a murky subject.  Note: the handling is a bit crappy and the game doesn’t always respond as desired.
  3. Cellcraft Ahhh, Cellcraft. This goofy little game about platypi covers
    Cellcraft

    Cellcraft

    the basics of cells and organisms. The story is witty, has cute cartoonish graphics, and does a good job explaining the science behind the fun. Come on, kids, get your Golgi Body on!

  4. Parable of the Polygons Racism, in a cool interactive format on your computer! Yeah!