Spaceplan: 3/5 STARS

spaceplan1Like any good incremental/clicker game, things start out logical end then turn… potatoe-y.

jhollands.co.uk/spaceplan

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Lumberjack Jacques and the Ritual of Doom is Short, Sweet, and Polished

Hey, this game is fun!

https://sparklinlabs.itch.io/lumberjack

A Normal Lost Phone: 3.5/5 STARS

ANormalLostPhone

What do you know about Sam?  Are they a boy, a girl?  Are they cheating on their girlfriend?  Where did they go on the 18th of January? Where are they now?

One user on Game Jolt commented:

“really hits me like a rock, cried like a baby”

Contrary to my introduction, A Normal Lost Phone is not a murder-mystery.  It’s not terribly suspenseful, but it’s ending is very, very real.  Even though I am not in Sam’s exact situation, their struggle reminded me of myself.  The game is written very well.  The end text, supposedly written by the main character, is minimal, to the point, and believable.  The only real complaint I have is that, in the cellphone’s contacts, there are so many names that are absolutely pointless.  It clutters up a screen that shouldn’t be.

Play A Normal Lost Phone by Accidental Queens here (available in English, French, and Spanish!)

 


SPOILERS

I referred to Samantha during my description as “they” as I wanted her gender to remain ambiguous, as to not spoil the story.  I am aware that she is a woman.

Ludum Dare 34: Growing Ties 2/5 STARS

It’s a simple task: give the men some ties.  Playing Growing Ties for a few seconds will show you it’s not as easy as you once thought.  Press the left arrow key to finish making a tie and press and hold the right arrow key to make the tie longer.  There are people of all sizes waiting for your custom-length, lime-green ties, so get going!

While Growing Ties sounds like a simple web toy, it actually took me some time to get the hang of it.  I realized after some experimenting that, contrary to the upbeat background music, you can take as long as you want to make ties. There is no time limit and the men will not leave if you take “too long.”  Knowing this immediately makes the game less enjoyable, because now you don’t have the mad dash of dropping ties to please customers.  Growing Ties was made in a 72 hours for Ludum Dare 34, and so; the game only has one “level.”  After satisfying twenty customers’ tie needs the game ends, shows you how well you performed, and then are prompted to play again.  I’d say Growing Ties is fun, and good if you want to just chill, but there isn’t much other substance or meaning.

Growing Ties: 2/5 STARS

Growing Ties was created by DR.LUDOS (who brought us the similarly simple but difficult The One Fork Restaurant), with music by Newgrounds user F4llout. The Jam theme was Two Button Controls and/or Growing. Participants were allowed to use one or both of the themes. You can get Growing Ties on your Android phone via Google Play.

This is a Teaching Moment

AAAAAAchoooooo! Man, this internet place is dusty. I’ve been scouring the web for (free)video games, and now I’m covered in cobwebs. It was totally worth it. These are not just any ol’ games, but ones that are educational. That’s Edutainment!

  1. Socrates Jones: Pro Philosopher Anyone can learn about the Socratic method via this Ace Attorney look-alike. Imagine debating the nature of morality with your fav dead philosophers–this is the basic concept of the game. Even the in-game “tutorial,” teaching you how to play the game, is a ridiculously funny conversation between a frazzled father and a deer-repellent salesman. Yes, deer repellent.
  2. Newgenics: Welcome to the Future A basic, clean intro to eugenics and the shapes it takes. I recommend this for kids as young as eight(and you’re never too old for schooling!) to spark interesting discussions about a murky subject.  Note: the handling is a bit crappy and the game doesn’t always respond as desired.
  3. Cellcraft Ahhh, Cellcraft. This goofy little game about platypi covers
    Cellcraft

    Cellcraft

    the basics of cells and organisms. The story is witty, has cute cartoonish graphics, and does a good job explaining the science behind the fun. Come on, kids, get your Golgi Body on!

  4. Parable of the Polygons Racism, in a cool interactive format on your computer! Yeah!

Scariest Commercial Ever?

Maybe you’ve heard some people call the German “K-Fee” commercials the scariest commercials ever.  I didn’t know what this was until yesterday, but I’m glad I know now– I laughed my butt off every time! These ads actually aired on German TV.  Hmmmm, I wonder if anyone has gotten a heart attack from one yet… They’re short, shocking, and hilarious once you know what’s going to happen!

WARNING: remove all food and drink from your mouth before watching. You might want to turn down the volume… maybe.

K-fee Commercials

Spoilers Below!
Image courtesy of lekkyjustdoit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of lekkyjustdoit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Inculcation

inculcation
[in-kuhl-key-shuh n]
noun
1.The act of inculcating, or teaching or influencing persistently and repeatedly so as to implant or instill an idea, theory, attitude, etc.

I’m not going to blab on and on today… I just thought I’d share this little gem with you all.  It was made a while ago, but never really got it’s due. Let’s change that!

A little taste-test of Inculcation

A little taste-test of Inculcation

Inculcation is a horror point-n-click game. It had a very Exmorits-y vibe for me, but 100 times less scary.  There are a few jump scares, but I didn’t have to play this game while peeking through my fingers.  The graphics are interesting, but could’ve been better. At first I thought the developer was trying to be edgy or unique, but then I decided the graphics were just bland after a few jumps. This could have been much scarier. You can play it in your browser for free here:

www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/515898

Battle Sails: 3/5 STARS

HopliteGames, sponsored by Armor Games, serves up another satisfying time-waster, called Battle Sails: Caribbean Heroes.  The swashbuckling music is catchy, if a little low quality, and the visuals are pretty great.    The game mechanics are familiar and should be smooth sailing for most players.  There are three difficulty levels: easy, medium, and hard.  I beat the game on medium with little effort. Some people will find that by the end of their play-through, the battles become tedious.

This game is like a low-budget version of Civilization V.  There are turn based battles, fights for other nations’ land, and even the ability to research technologies! Now it may sound like I’m being harsh, but really, the game isn’t bad.  I enjoyed it; Battle Sails is the perfect way to avoid doing other things(like working on your blog!) and devour a Saturday afternoon.  For what it is, it’s a great value(it’s free, by the way).  However, it’s still just a puzzle game.  Call me a dirty Hipster, but I like my games to mean something.  Sure, I like to mindlessly beat puzzles as much as the next guy, but I just wish there was a story or moral or something special.  

It’s a strong effort on HopliteGames’ part, but I want to see a little sparkle-sparkle. For example, a quick history lesson to set the scene of the game, or introducing more random factors and some story-telling. Overall, I give it three stars out of five.

Play Battle Sails: Caribbean Heroes